I love Deadpool… you love Deadpool… we all think the wise cracking Ryan Reynolds would be hilarious as Deadpool. So, here we are!!! As a test, or the work of an over-eager computer graphics genius, we have a lovely sample of what something like that might look like!!! Completely computer generated, and voiced by el-Ryno. Unfortunately we can’t link it directly into this post (3 have been taken down just during the writing of this post)… but click here to check it out. Totally worth it!
We may not be brilliant day-traders or Herculean ambassadors for the Wall Street way of life, but we do understand the simple things. Like the importance of using a condom, gravity, that beer makes you happy, and running with scissors really is a bad idea. So of course you should listen to us when we suggest common sense advice on how to Invest in Your Future*…
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines 5 years ago, you would have $49.00 today!
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG 5 years ago, you would have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers 5 years ago, you would have $0.00 today.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
And as a bonus…
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41 miles to the gallon!
*Sweet Jesus… please don’t listen to us about investing in your future!!! Ever.
Sidebar… here are a couple of comments that bounced back and forth when discussing this topic:
PaysteeWhite: My alcohol gallon consumption and miles per year really jack the bell curve. A fifth a week, a few marathons a year….I’m like a Prius. A Prius with a sick sound system.
WhiteGlossy: I’m the opposite, 1Liter a week of whiskey with no running and a crippled ankle. I’m like the snaggle-toothed mutt you see on YouTube with the man-man little cart because his hind-legs are worthless.
EggShell: This machine runs on 750 ml bottles bitches.
WTF!!! How is it possible that Thomas Jane’s Punisher (which I thought was a pretty good take on one of my favorite Marvel Characters) had a 10min-ish sequel made, and I’m just now seeing it??? This came out almost 2 years ago exactly! I feel like I let you all down. (hanging my head in shame)
Well… if you’re like me and missed out on all of the thug-stomping blood-and-gore Punisher glory… enjoy! (as if I really need to say this, NSFW)
Published on Jul 15, 2012
Question: What’s the difference between justice and punishment?
“I wanted to make a fan film for a character I’ve always loved and believed in – a love letter to Frank Castle & his fans. It was an incredible experience with everyone on the project throwing in their time just for the fun of it. It’s been a blast to be a part of from start to finish — we hope the friends of Frank enjoy watching it as much as we did making it.” – Thomas Jane
Directed by Phil Joanou
Written by Chad St. John
Produced by Adi Shankar
Are you ready? Do you have your headphones plugged in? I proudly present to you… 3 minutes and 38 seconds of “Every Samuel L. Jackson “Motherf*cker”…Ever“. Seriously! You, my friends, are very damn welcome… motherf*cker.
Edited by Oliver Noble and Ben Craw. For more information of this video, including a full breakdown of motherfuc*ers per movie, visit: http://goo.gl/aWbF4W
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HuffPost Movie Mashups are a collection videos celebrating cinematic tropes and themes, and a part of the larger Huffington Post internet news, blog, and video community.
If only there were a way to magically combine these two extraordinary days into one celebratory magical item, using our favorite Whiskey (Bowen’s Whiskey) and the most fabulous dessert of all time (Cheesecake)!!!
– 165g / 5.5oz butter
– 15 digestive biscuits
– 225g / 8oz icing sugar
– 275ml /10 fl oz (½ pint) fresh whipping cream
– 450g / 1lb Philadelphia cheese
– 4 caps (bottle caps) of Bowen’s Whiskey
White and dark chocolate for decoration
1. Place digestive biscuits in a plastic bag and crush with a rolling pin.
2. Melt the butter and add the biscuits.
3. Put into a 23cm (9 inch) loose bottom cake tin (do not press the mixture into the tin too much or your base will be too hard). Leave in the fridge to set.
4. Beat the Philadelphia and add the icing sugar.
5. Lightly whip the cream and mix into the cheese mixture.
6. Add the Bowen’s whiskey to the cheese and cream mixture and mix well. Pour over the biscuit base. Leave at least a few hours in the fridge and decorate with grated dark and white chocolate.
… is the best thing we’ve seen all weekend. All-time classic roles being revisited by the actors that played them today. Check it out online HERE
Yes, about half way through you might get a brief feeling of motion sickness… but this tour de force of manipulated perspective cinematography blows away most of the lame special effects feats you see today (I’m looking at you SyFy channel). The fact that it was done in one long fluid motion is truly amazing. Enjoy:
The comedy duo of NBC’s Jimmy Fallon and Brian Williams are full-blown killin it!!! Whoever the genius(es) behind these brilliant compilations is, they should received a freakin award! They, clearly, spend a ton of time in the editing room and have mad skills. It’s funny… whenever they start monologing into one of these songs I think “oh, another of those Brian Williams things”… but then something magical happens… they suck me in. I’m not sure how, or why, but I’m all-in and have no power to look away. It’s like Fallon/Timberlake History of raps. It’s been done, and done, and done again… but I LOVE IT every time they pull another one out. Can’t get enough!!!
Enough chit-chat, enjoy:
Enjoy the latest Tasty Libation Review by our very own: Crazy Uncle Paystee White
TINCUP Whiskey ($30ish) should be called Ten Double D’s Cup because this whiskey is tits. Smells like mountain whiskey and should only be consumed by men. Men who have beards…..and love titties. Men like me who sincerely do not take the Tin Cup Whiskey generosity for granted by packaging each bottle with an actual tin cup shot glass. Brilliant.
Upon my in-depth research, reading the bottle, the whiskey originates from the mountains of Colorado. Like John Elway if his sweat consisted of grit and a pregnant mermaid’s tears aged for 18 years. Not some backwoods suck tooth cousin shed in the south like all its competitors. If a law passed where only ten other men could enjoy Tin Cup, I would kill the other 9.
Not a superhero flick, but superhero flick-esque… and it is starring the amazing Michael Keaton (where has he been? Missed the guy!). In “Birdman or (the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)” MK plays an actor who portrayed an iconic Superhero figure in the movies then moved on to “other things”. Looks like a dark comedy done right with a pretty solid cast Backing Keaton up. Here’s a first peek at “Birdman“:
Alejandro G. Iñárritu
It’s only been 4 days since the CIA (yeah, the Central Intelligence Agency) joined Twitter and they are already at celebrity level status with followers, favoriters, and retweeters (pretty sure I just made up two of those words.). At the time of this posting they are already at 621,000 followers. “How in the hell does a boring bureaucratic agency like the CIA get that many followers so quickly?” you might be asking yourself (we did). Well, it helps when your first tweet looks like this:
Yup… the CIA just proved that they have game. Did I immediately follow them after reading this inaugural tweet? Hell yes. If this is just the beginning I can’t wait to see what else they kick out into the Twittersphere. You might be asking yourself what other government agencies have jumped into the Twitter Universe as well, and after a quick inspection of the 25 pages the CIA follows (come on, you weren’t super curious too?) we discovered a number of them from Homeland Security to the Air-force and Darpa. All perfectly Legit… and all pretty cool. It kind of makes me happy to think my tax dollars are also paying for some Social Media knucklehead to sit around Tweeting about all things government. No really… in fact, I’m kind of jealous!
Go get your Twitter on people… and follow our government in action!
This guy is straight up killing it!!! I’ve been happily watching video after video for a while and have finally come to the conclusion that I 100% dig this dudes video series “True Facts About…”. His voice is quirky, he comedic timing is pretty spot-on, and he even tosses in some legit facts to spice things up.
Caution: if you start watching this you will spend the next hours of your life enthralled in brilliance. Enjoy!!!
In case you haven’t yet… make sure you watch “True Facts About the Armadillo”. Hahahahaha!!!