You may remember back in late August when we told you about one of our favorite tailgate drinks Four Loko (Remember with us HERE). It didn’t take long for word to spread of its drunken greatness… and it was quickly adopted by the young college crowd due to its quite unique qualities (Energy Drink + 12% alcohol = CRAZINESS). In fact it was just announced last week that November 18th is the last day anyone in the entire state of Washington will be able to pick up one of these tasty treats because of its serious kick. But why exactly is it being banned? We checked in with our good friends at the Huffington Post and they had an article stating:
Nine Central Washington University students who drank Four Loko were hospitalized with blood-alcohol levels ranging from 0.12 percent to 0.35 percent, and a female student nearly died, university President James L. Gaudino said. A blood-alcohol concentration of 0.30 percent is considered potentially lethal.
Yeah… we agree that is a LOT of booze in their bodies, but did Four Loko pour it down their crazy collegic gullet? (You can see the entire article HERE) I can’t imagine the peeps at Loko are too upset though… if anything, this has likely been the biggest free advertising campaign to hit the liquor market since the early 2000’s absinthe fun. Side-note have you noticed that almost every malt-liquor energy drink is made by the Four Loko company? Take a look at the label next time you’re picking something up.
Sooo… in the manner that is the WGUB we thought long and hard, then decided that we too would take the Four Loko challenge and get a little Loco with Loko. We stocked up on as many as we could carry and Myself, Eggshell & PaysteeWhite skurried off to a local tailgate to see what kind of damage we could do. For the record… I only drank half of one since I was driving (pre-game… with at least 4 hours before driving. Be responsible people!!!!)
After everything was said and done… both Eggshell & Paystee each had 3 and 1/2 Lokos in their system. Let’s just say upfront that there is no way either one of them could have had more and kept vertical (as it was, Eggshell had a pretty difficult time)! They were both completely wasted!!! (all in the name of effective journalism… of course.) At one point, Paystee literally punched out a wasp and a bee… we’re all still laughing about that!!! Here are a couple of the comments from the afternoon:
- Eggshell “When did your shirt get a logo on it?”
- Paystee (with a hoodie on) “I’m rockin the Bieber”
- Paystee (after WhiteGlossy spilled a little, and a fly was all over it) “That fly is about to f-ck a fat chick”
- Eggshell “Are you going to explain to everyone why I’m so drunk?”
- Paystee (after getting punched back by Eggshell) “You’re the biggest sock-back”
- Stranger at nearby tailgate (not relevant, but funny) “What if you ate a llama… gross”
- Paystee “No wonder kids are dying off this sh!t… this sh!t is awesome!!!”
- Paystee “Hey did you hear about Kanye West??? He’s still a fucking asshole”
- Paystee (after coming to) “Sooooo I guess I went to a bar earlier. I played pool, talked to people, won a trophy for consecutive jumping jacks in my wife’s panties and solicited men for sex. Just another Tuesday night. What? It’s Saturday night?”
- Paystee “Dude it’s 8:45… this is unreal. Washington is correct. Except for being uncorrect because they’re f’ing pussies. Suck it up Washington… its go time bitches”
FYI – at around 5 hours later Eggshell is completely passed out and Paystee is at home but still drunk texting me late into the night. Hmmm… maybe Washington has something going here?
UPDATE – For extra HAHAHAHAHA… go HERE (thanks CollegeHumor.com)