iPhone 6??? It Sure Is!!!

iPhone 6 Spec Art

While dumpster diving behind Steve Job’s house recently, we came across some top-secret specs of the… are you ready for it????  The iPhone 6…Way before the iPhone 5 iPhone 4s even hits the shelves (October 4th). Here is a quick wrap-up of what we found and even some scans of top-secret doodles.  Apparently Steve Jobs is a really shitty artist.

Will we get sued and put out of business for leaking this info?  Probably… but screw it!!!  We are journalists dedicated to the truth, and our people (that’s you).

Those scans that we found, featuring some pretty incredible tech, for the iPhone 6 are bellow (click on images for a larger view)… and yes, the details for each picture is listed down there as well. You can bet your sweet ass cheeks that we will be camping out like some über Star Wars nerds to pick up this one at midnight..

  1. It will only obey short, one word commands much like a dog. It will also sulk when you yell at it for dropping a call.
  2. Yes, it will provide you with an Asian massage. A complete Asian Massage.
  3. Hidden in the code is a picture of Steve Job’s tumor.
  4. It’s new 20 megapixel camera has x-ray, heat vision, and night vision. As well as target lock function.
  5. It is water, dirt, chemical and outer space proof.
  6. Instead of Bluetooth technology, you will be able to communicate with it telepathically. Yes, you can think about porn and it will show up on your iPhone.
  7. For men it offers a built-in shaver, for woman a home Microdermabrasion kit. However the shaver can only be used on pubes, and the Microdermabrasion on backne.
  8. Hold approximately 1.5 oz. (a single shot) of any liquid
  9. Doubles as a one-time-use taser for debilitating a mugger/robber/drunkwhoresatthebar
  10. Has a 3D screen, for porn.

3D Screen

Flask

Telepathy

X-Ray

Taser

Manscaping

Massage

8 thoughts on “iPhone 6??? It Sure Is!!!

  1. You guys are just plain out fucking ridiculous!!!!!!! I know that Apple has been fucking over with themselves for atleast a year or two!!!!!!!!! But come on!!!!!!!!!! Do you really think that they are gonna make a 3D iPhone just for porn!!!!!!! Like really?!!? Yeah, right!!!! Come on guys!!!!!! Why are you trying to get your ass embarrassed and laughed at!?! The pictures drawing of telepathy, x-ray, taser, manscaping and massage concepts/specs are just fucking stupid!!!!!! Probably retarded people as yourself draw that, huh?? Do you really think that Apple company is going to do that for the iPhone 6?!??! Do you really think that they gonna make that kind of phone and sell it??

    P.S! For your information you fucktarded people who made this website bout trash talking shit bout Apple products, it’s called doodling for fun, making newer designs and specs!!!!! But Apple and Steve’s Job is smarter than that!!!!!

  2. For starters… thank you for being a loyal reader of the WGUB. It’s people like you that truly make it worth our while. Secondly… I appreciate your clever word-gymnastics! With words like “fucktard” I have to take my hat off to you. A true wordsmith.

    To comment on your accusations… as much as I would love to take credit for the brilliant ideas and childlike drawings, as we stated… it was found in the trash bin outside of Job’s house. However, unlike you, I absolutely think that every single idea laid out is of the absolute truth and I’m personally excited to see them in action.

    Once again… thank you for hanging out with us at the WGUB, and I hope you’ll swing back by from time-to-time for more fun and shenanigans.

  3. Pingback: The WGUB Best and Worst of 2011 | The White Glossy Underground Board

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