You know your guilty of it. Every time the Holiday’s roll around the big questions gets asked, “What do you want this year”… and you reply with some stupid passive response like “I need some work clothes”, “Gift cards are great” or roll the dice with “I don’t know”.
The reality is you couldn’t possibly tell Nana you really want a gift card to the Mustang Ranch in Nevada, One of those life-size silicone sex dolls or a year prescription to. Well, during our last WGUB meeting we did a quick round-table discussing all of the gifts we really want this ChristHannakwanza.
And here they are in a list we like to call the…
“Perfect Gifts for the Triple Ho’s”:
- Queen Elsa’s frozen pocket vagina
- Teenage Mutant Horny Teenager Ninja tissues & lotion
- Black Friday anal cream and pain reliever
- Yearly Subscription from a coursework writing service
- Winter Wonderland do-it-yourself beginner cocaine kit
- Jingle Bells ass-less Santa suit
- Dora the explorer anal beads
- Mighty Morphing Power Ranger Meth Chem kit
- Scooby Doo-Doo yard clean-up tools
- Denver Broncos Mile high hydroponic starter
- The inappropriate touching Elmo doll
- Stretch Armstrong with ball-gag attachment.
- Pokemon french tickler. Get them all.
- World of Warcraft s&m expansion pack.
- My Little Pocket Pussy Pony
- GI Blow Joe
- Easy Baked oven pot brownie maker
- Jerry Garcia psychedelic paint by numbers, complete with LSD home chemistry kit
- Little Einsteins home-made plan b kit
- Oh Holy night crotchless panties
- Call of duty: modern redneck II
- Xbox One (One, as in you’ll be alone forever)
- Operation: San Francisco edition
- The Travelocity Garden Gnome butt plug
- Dildo the Reindeer. (He’s at the back of pack.)
- Dashboard gaydar detector. Brought to you by Tinder, the Gap and Trojan lubricated anal condoms.
- Real World 14: Sierra Leone; the 4 episode series on DVD (spoiler, they all die from Ebola in episode 3)
- Little Suzie Gynecologist doll complete with lube and Pap-Smear tools
- Harry Houdini fuzzy handcuffs
- Chow Lin’s homemade Nike kit.
- “Taste like chicken” cat & dog cookbook
- Heisenberg chemistry for beginners
What did we forget?