Be it from “V for Vendetta”
, folk-lore, your annoying Britt friend who won’t shut the hell up about today or any number of other reasons… today is “Guy Fawkes Day”. How do we celebrate GFD? Attempt to blow something up? Wear a funny mask? We have no friggin clue! Hell… for all I know this looks like he could be the guy that invented Movember. Our suggestions: grab a bottle of your favorite hooch, your special someone, turn the lights down really low, and do that thing you love to do!!! (to be fair though, we think this should be your plan for ALL “holidays”… real or otherwise.)
If you’re still curious… here’s the official full-length poem:
English Folk Verse (c.1870)
The Fifth of November
The fifth of November,
The Gunpowder treason and plot;
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!
Guy Fawkes and his companions
Did the scheme contrive,
To blow the King and Parliament
All up alive.
Threescore barrels, laid below,
To prove old England’s overthrow.
But, by God’s providence, him they catch,
With a dark lantern, lighting a match!
A stick and a stake
For King James’s sake!
If you won’t give me one,
I’ll take two,
The better for me,
And the worse for you.
A rope, a rope, to hang the Pope,
A penn’orth of cheese to choke him,
A pint of beer to wash it down,
And a jolly good fire to burn him.
Holloa, boys! holloa, boys! make the bells ring!
Holloa, boys! holloa boys! God save the King!
Hip, hip, hooor-r-r-ray!