This may not be the funniest of the day… but it really caught me as laugh-worthy. From @RonHuebel:
Once again going to the hilarious Chris D’Elia…
And to make it even funnier… here is the link to the “Space Jam” website.
Tommy Johnagin (@tommyjohnagin)
11/11/10 1:30 PM
Called hotel to make a rez. Front desk lady: “how many adults in the room?” Me: “just one. Unless this phone call goes well!” silence
In classic Steve Martin style… here is a tweet that is just plain classic American Humor. Mind you, this was posted 2 days after voting ended and this was just one in a series of tweets about the election coverage.
The New Yorker is definitely known as a publication for the more “gentlemanly” types… so we, of course, don’t spend a lot of time reading it. But even the stuffiest of monocle wearing douche-bags has a funny moment now and then. Martin Marks, a writer for their website, tossed down the ultimate email blanket auto-response… simply copy, paste, and set to auto-respond… then go about your douchey ways. (** Caution ** May cause people to actually hate you and never email you again… which isn’t exactly a bad thing)
Dear Friend, Family Member, Loved One, and/or Business Associate:
Thank you for your e-mail, which, if it is under three (3) sentences long, I have read. Owing to the large volume of e-mails I’m receiving at this time, please note that it will sometimes take up to fourteen (14) calendar days, though sometimes longer (and sometimes much longer), to respond to your e-mail; in the interim, please rest assured that I am attempting to address, resolve, or think about the matter you have described, unless, of course, I’m avoiding the matter entirely. Some possible reasons for this include:
—Thinking about the matter gives me a headache.
—Thinking about the matter takes longer than forty-five (45) seconds.
—Thinking about the matter is simple enough, and takes less than forty-five (45) seconds, but, when combined with all the other e-mails in my in-box, it creates a synergy of matterdom, exacerbating the headaches mentioned at the beginning of this list.
Please note that if your e-mail is more than three (3) sentences in length I have read the first three (3) sentences, skimmed the opening paragraph, and sort of eyeballed the rest of it. Please do not expect a response to your e-mail anytime soon, if at all, for I am not a mind reader, and therefore cannot guess the nature of anything beyond the first three (3) sentences. For those of you who continue to insist on sending e-mails longer than three (3) sentences, here is a Wikipedia entry on haiku. Reformat your e-mails accordingly, as in this example:
I am busy now;
The Internet has stolen
So much precious time.
Under certain circumstances, you may feel as though you cannot express the matter at hand in less than three (3) sentences. Below, Continue reading