The Punisher: Dirty Laundry (Movie “Sequel”)

WTF!!!  How is it possible that Thomas Jane’s Punisher (which I thought was a pretty good take on one of my favorite Marvel Characters) had a 10min-ish sequel made, and I’m just now seeing it???  This came out almost 2 years ago exactly!  I feel like I let you all down.  (hanging my head in shame)

Well… if you’re like me and missed out on all of the thug-stomping blood-and-gore Punisher glory… enjoy! (as if I really need to say this, NSFW)

Published on Jul 15, 2012

Question: What’s the difference between justice and punishment?

“I wanted to make a fan film for a character I’ve always loved and believed in – a love letter to Frank Castle & his fans. It was an incredible experience with everyone on the project throwing in their time just for the fun of it. It’s been a blast to be a part of from start to finish — we hope the friends of Frank enjoy watching it as much as we did making it.” – Thomas Jane

Directed by Phil Joanou
Written by Chad St. John
Produced by Adi Shankar

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Happy Thursday… Motherf*cker

Are you ready?  Do you have your headphones plugged in?  I proudly present to you… 3 minutes and 38 seconds of “Every Samuel L. Jackson “Motherf*cker”…Ever“.  Seriously!  You, my friends, are very damn welcome… motherf*cker.

Edited by Oliver Noble and Ben Craw. For more information of this video, including a full breakdown of motherfuc*ers per movie, visit: http://goo.gl/aWbF4W
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HuffPost Movie Mashups are a collection videos celebrating cinematic tropes and themes, and a part of the larger Huffington Post internet news, blog, and video community.

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Happy National Cheesecake Day – AND – Happy Whiskey Wednesday!!!

If only there were a way to magically combine these two extraordinary days into one celebratory magical item, using our favorite Whiskey (Bowen’s Whiskey) and the most fabulous dessert of all time (Cheesecake)!!!

Cheesecake Bowen'sHmmmmmmm……………

Ingredients
Base
– 165g / 5.5oz  butter
– 15 digestive biscuits

Topping
– 225g  / 8oz icing sugar
– 275ml /10 fl oz (½ pint) fresh whipping cream
– 450g / 1lb Philadelphia cheese
– 4 caps (bottle caps) of Bowen’s Whiskey
White and dark chocolate for decoration

Bowen's WhiskeyPreparation method
1. Place digestive biscuits in a plastic bag and crush with a rolling pin.
2. Melt the butter and add the biscuits.
3. Put into a 23cm (9 inch) loose bottom cake tin (do not press the mixture into the tin too much or your base will be too hard). Leave in the fridge to set.
4. Beat the Philadelphia and add the icing sugar.
5. Lightly whip the cream and mix into the cheese mixture.
6. Add the Bowen’s whiskey to the cheese and cream mixture and mix well.  Pour over the biscuit base.  Leave at least a few hours in the fridge and decorate with grated dark and white chocolate.

Empire Mag’s Movie Stars Revisiting Their Roles…

… is the best thing we’ve seen all weekend.  All-time classic roles being revisited by the actors that played them today.  Check it out online HERE

Movie-Stars-Revisit-Famous-Roles

25 Awesome Anti-Jokes

Image

Anti-Jokes

Text from PaysteeWhite

NBAdraft“Man did you see the NBA Draft Last Night?!  Me neither.”

- Says Everybody

 

 

 

 

*

OK Go – The Writing’s On the Wall

Yes, about half way through you might get a brief feeling of motion sickness… but this tour de force of manipulated perspective cinematography blows away most of the lame special effects feats you see today (I’m looking at you SyFy channel).  The fact that it was done in one long fluid motion is truly amazing.  Enjoy:

Brian Williams Raps “Baby Got Back” on Fallon

The comedy duo of NBC’s Jimmy Fallon and Brian Williams are full-blown killin it!!!  Whoever the genius(es) behind these brilliant compilations is, they should received a freakin award!  They, clearly, spend a ton of time in the editing room and have mad skills.  It’s funny… whenever they start monologing into one of these songs I think “oh, another of those Brian Williams things”… but then something magical happens… they suck me in.  I’m not sure how, or why, but I’m all-in and have no power to look away.  It’s like Fallon/Timberlake History of raps.  It’s been done, and done, and done again… but I LOVE IT every time they pull another one out.  Can’t get enough!!!

Enough chit-chat, enjoy:

Tasty Libation Review – TINCUP Whiskey

Enjoy the latest Tasty Libation Review by our very own: Crazy Uncle Paystee White

Tin-Cup-ColorTINCUP Whiskey ($30ish) should be called Ten Double D’s Cup because this whiskey is tits.  Smells like mountain whiskey and should only be consumed by men. Men who have beards…..and love titties. Men like me who sincerely do not take the Tin Cup Whiskey generosity for granted by packaging each bottle with an actual tin cup shot glass.  Brilliant.

Upon my in-depth research, reading the bottle, the whiskey originates from the mountains of Colorado. Like John Elway if his sweat consisted of grit and a pregnant mermaid’s tears aged for 18 years. Not some backwoods suck tooth cousin shed in the south like all its competitors. If a law passed where only ten other men could enjoy Tin Cup, I would kill the other 9.

Tin Cup Whiskey and titties, the three best things on Earth.tincup-whiksey-3

 

Michael Keaton is/was a Superhero Again (sorta) in “Birdman”

banner-birdman-film-3Not a superhero flick, but superhero flick-esque… and it is starring the amazing Michael Keaton (where has he been?  Missed the guy!).  In “Birdman or (the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)” MK plays an actor who portrayed an iconic Superhero figure in the movies then moved on to “other things”.  Looks like a dark comedy done right with a pretty solid cast Backing Keaton up.  Here’s a first peek at “Birdman“:

Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Michael Keaton

Zach Galifianakis

Edward Norton

Andrea Riseborough

Amy Ryan

Emma Stone

Naomi Watts

The CIA Joined Twitter

It’s only been 4 days since the CIA (yeah, the Central Intelligence Agency) joined Twitter and they are already at celebrity level status with followers, favoriters, and retweeters (pretty sure I just made up two of those words.).  At the time of this posting they are already at 621,000 followers.  “How in the hell does a boring bureaucratic agency like the CIA get that many followers so quickly?” you might be asking yourself (we did).  Well, it helps when your first tweet looks like this:

CIA1stTweetYup… the CIA just proved that they have game.  Did I immediately follow them after reading this inaugural tweet?  Hell yes.  If this is just the beginning I can’t wait to see what else they kick out into the Twittersphere.  You might be asking yourself what other government agencies have jumped into the Twitter Universe as well, and after a quick inspection of the 25 pages the CIA follows (come on, you weren’t super curious too?) we discovered a number of them from Homeland Security to the Air-force and Darpa.  All perfectly Legit… and all pretty cool.  It kind of makes me happy to think my tax dollars are also paying for some Social Media knucklehead to sit around Tweeting about all things government.  No really… in fact, I’m kind of jealous!

Go get your Twitter on people… and follow our government in action!

CIATweet

True Facts About…

This guy is straight up killing it!!!  I’ve been happily watching video after video for a while and have finally come to the conclusion that I 100% dig this dudes video series “True Facts About…”.  His voice is quirky, he comedic timing is pretty spot-on, and he even tosses in some legit facts to spice things up.

Caution: if you start watching this you will spend the next hours of your life enthralled in brilliance.  Enjoy!!!

In case you haven’t yet… make sure you watch “True Facts About the Armadillo”.  Hahahahaha!!!

“Rock the Vote” is for Regular People…

We support…

“Get Off Your Damn Asses You Simpleton Bitches and Be the Change You Complain About Every Day at the Water Cooler, In Your Living-room, at the Grocery Store and Every Other Friggin Place… and vote!”

We think it has legs to really go places. Common people…

Some Monday Humor to Brighten Your Day: Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous… but you knew that.

  1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
  2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you … but it’s still on my list.
  3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
  5. We never really grow up — we only learn how to act in public.
  6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
  7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  10. In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency,    notify…”  I answered “a doctor.”
  11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
  12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  13. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
  14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  15. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  16. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
  17. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

Hey… You (the Lazy One)… Get Off Your Ass and Vote!!!

It’s not a sexy Presidential Election… hell, there aren’t even any scandalous propositions vying to alter the way of life as we know it… but June 3rd is an election day and you, my friend, need to exercise your right as an American and vote!

Let me ask you this… do you celebrate veterans on Veterans Day?  Do you remember the fallen warriors of this awesome Nation on Memorial Day?  Do you wave old glory proudly from the front of your home?  Do you bask in the glow of Fireworks every 4th of July and have fond memories of running through the streets with sparklers as a kid?  ALL of these wonderful traditions are in memory of these United States of America and the sacrifices our country has made for your inalienable rights and Freedom!  Freedom to live as you so desire… freedom to speak your mind… and most importantly, freedom to choose!

So, spend at least an hour during the next 4 days and Google the politicians running for seats in your area.  Read some literature (you know, that packet you got in the mail).  And most importantly, honor the thousands upon thousands of American’s who proudly gave their lives so that you (yes, YOU) can walk into a tiny little plastic booth and VOTE!!!Old Glory over the USS Arizona  Memorial edit